Your Desires Are Safe With Me

Trust in the Lord and do good.
   Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
   and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
   Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
   and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the Lord,
   and wait patiently for him to act.

Psalm 37:3-7a New Living Translation

I grew up believing (whether by being taught or my own misinterpretation is irrelevant) that desires are inherently bad, that you should concentrate on doing your duty and if you're lucky, learn to enjoy it.

So I often tried to hide my desires from God, since there's no point in getting excited about something you have no hope of obtaining.

But as my knowledge and understanding of God grew, I've realized that He created desire--and specific desires--within us, that these desires are good if directed along the stright and narrow.

Since then my main struggle in this area has been to trust that God will fulfill those desires, to realize that my heart and her desires are safe with Him. Now that's a beautiful thought.

Excuses, white lies and the truth

And Aaron said, "Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, 'Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.' So I said to them, 'Let any who have gold take it off.' So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf."

Exodus 32:22-24 English Standard Version

I always feel a little pang of guilt when I read Aaron's hedging response to Moses' furious accusation. Aaron stutters out his story laced with excuses and white lies.

I know I do this a lot. I don't usually tell an outright lie but I do leave out important information or spin the story in a light that reflects well on me, regardless of whether or not I should look good.

Aaron wasn't fooling anyone, but he thought he was. And I'm not fooling anyone either.

The Sheer Joy of Creating Something

I was there when he established the heavens,
    when he drew the horizon on the oceans.
I was there when he set the clouds above,
    when he established springs deep in the earth.
I was there when he set the limits of the seas,
    so they would not spread beyond their boundaries.
And when he marked off the earth’s foundations,
    I was the architect at his side.
I was his constant delight,
    rejoicing always in his presence.
And how happy I was with the world he created;
    how I rejoiced with the human family!

Proverbs 8:27-31 New Living Translation

As a I read this poem my heart raced--I felt like I was there, up among the clouds, in the oceans, thrilling over each new beauty that God was speaking into existence, realizing it's infinite wisdom and overwhelming beauty second by incredible second.

Oh how I wish I had been Wisdom and could have seen all this firsthand!

Mandatory Risks

So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

Matthew 25:28-29 English Standard Version

I know that the word "talent" here refers technically to coins, not abilities, but I think that funnily enough that is what the coins are representing: the gifts that God has given us in this life, be they abilities, possessions, statuses, relationships, events in our lives.

God has given everything to us in order for us to use them, not for us to sit on them or pretend we don't have them.

It's been difficult for me to figure out what purpose my talents have, especially the ones that combine my greatest fears, such as singing (enjoyed talent) in front of an audience (greatest fear).

It's not by chance that I can do what I can do. But how and why to do them? Now there's the rub.