And then they were counted

These are those who were listed, whom Moses and Aaron listed with the help of the chiefs of Israel, twelve men, each representing his fathers’ house. So all those listed of the people of Israel, by their fathers’ houses, from twenty years old and upward, every man able to go to war in Israel— all those listed were 603,550.

Numbers 1:44-46 English Standard Version

So if you figured that nearly all of them were married, as was typical in that culture, you're looking at 1.2 million Israelites. Then if each family typically had 5-20 children, you're looking at possibly 11 million Israelites just a year or two after they escaped Egypt. Whoa.

Your Desires Are Safe With Me

Trust in the Lord and do good.
   Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
   and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
   Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
   and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the Lord,
   and wait patiently for him to act.

Psalm 37:3-7a New Living Translation

I grew up believing (whether by being taught or my own misinterpretation is irrelevant) that desires are inherently bad, that you should concentrate on doing your duty and if you're lucky, learn to enjoy it.

So I often tried to hide my desires from God, since there's no point in getting excited about something you have no hope of obtaining.

But as my knowledge and understanding of God grew, I've realized that He created desire--and specific desires--within us, that these desires are good if directed along the stright and narrow.

Since then my main struggle in this area has been to trust that God will fulfill those desires, to realize that my heart and her desires are safe with Him. Now that's a beautiful thought.

Excuses, white lies and the truth

And Aaron said, "Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, 'Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.' So I said to them, 'Let any who have gold take it off.' So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf."

Exodus 32:22-24 English Standard Version

I always feel a little pang of guilt when I read Aaron's hedging response to Moses' furious accusation. Aaron stutters out his story laced with excuses and white lies.

I know I do this a lot. I don't usually tell an outright lie but I do leave out important information or spin the story in a light that reflects well on me, regardless of whether or not I should look good.

Aaron wasn't fooling anyone, but he thought he was. And I'm not fooling anyone either.

The Sheer Joy of Creating Something

I was there when he established the heavens,
    when he drew the horizon on the oceans.
I was there when he set the clouds above,
    when he established springs deep in the earth.
I was there when he set the limits of the seas,
    so they would not spread beyond their boundaries.
And when he marked off the earth’s foundations,
    I was the architect at his side.
I was his constant delight,
    rejoicing always in his presence.
And how happy I was with the world he created;
    how I rejoiced with the human family!

Proverbs 8:27-31 New Living Translation

As a I read this poem my heart raced--I felt like I was there, up among the clouds, in the oceans, thrilling over each new beauty that God was speaking into existence, realizing it's infinite wisdom and overwhelming beauty second by incredible second.

Oh how I wish I had been Wisdom and could have seen all this firsthand!

Mandatory Risks

So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

Matthew 25:28-29 English Standard Version

I know that the word "talent" here refers technically to coins, not abilities, but I think that funnily enough that is what the coins are representing: the gifts that God has given us in this life, be they abilities, possessions, statuses, relationships, events in our lives.

God has given everything to us in order for us to use them, not for us to sit on them or pretend we don't have them.

It's been difficult for me to figure out what purpose my talents have, especially the ones that combine my greatest fears, such as singing (enjoyed talent) in front of an audience (greatest fear).

It's not by chance that I can do what I can do. But how and why to do them? Now there's the rub.

Fairness and Generosity

But he replied to one of them, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you.

Matthew 20:13-14 English Standard Version

I know that not all characteristics have a gene that directly correlates, but if the fairness gene is ever discovered, I bet you I will have a double set. I love to feel fairly treated, to divide as evenly as possible, to make sure that all protocols are adhered to. So when I encounter stories like this, my first instinct is to side with the it's not fair crowd.

"I don't get compensated enough for the work I do."

"My generosity is not returned by this person or that person."

"I always get the grunt work in this situation."

Blah. Blah. Blah.

But the gentle admonition of the employer catches me by surprise every time. Maybe always thinking fair is too narrow minded, missing the point. It's not always about give and take. We are commanded to give all we've got because we can take all we need from Him.

Siblings: Can't live with them, can't live without them

Then he sent his brothers away, and as they departed, he said to them, "Do not quarrel on the way."

Genesis 45:24 English Standard Version

Never noticed Joseph's parting quip before, haha. Here he's just been reunited with his brothers and and he can't resist a bit of friendly, elbow-in-the-ribs teasing. I wonder what his tone was when he said it.

It's little details like this that make the Bible just as fascinating a read the seventh time through as it was the first time through. Love it.

Memorizing the Pslams

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, the servant of the LORD, who addressed the words of this song to the LORD on the day when the LORD rescued him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. He said:

  I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
   my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
   my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18:1-2 English Standard Version

At one point I was trying to memorize all the Psalms. I got up to Psalm 6 and then kinda lost heart, and I quit.

Ever since that failure I've been thnkng about tryng again. I did find that the easiest Psalms to memorize by far were the ones that I knew as songs, and so at one point I tried to compose a tune for each Psalm I was memorizing. But my musical composition skills are poor, and my progress tedious and laborious and uninspired.

Maybe if I took familiar, beloved tunes instead? That might work.

Redefining "to live"

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 10:39 English Standard Version

When I find myself feeling down, when I sift through my thoughts I often find my mind to be focusing on things of little eternal consequence. And then when I shift my mind toward things that are actually important to me, my spirits revive. I have to continually redefine what it is "to live."

Time Warp

So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.

Genesis 29:20 English Standard Version

I have to pause every so often while reading the Bible to make sure that I haven't entered a time warp. Especially in the narrative portions of the Word, a story will be going along at a certain pace and then boom, seven years will pass in a sentence and I don't always notice until the next paragraph, when I'm suddenly confused.

In the story of how Jacob obtains his wives Rachel and her sister Leah, it's very much like that. Each day gets several paragraphs, but as soon as Jacob begins to work for Rachel, suddenly a sentence is seven years, beautifully matching up to how Jacob's heart must have perceived time--his episode of stealing his father's blessing and earning his brother's hatred and running away from home must have dragged and weighed heavily on him, hence the Bible's pages on that. But then he meets his girl, and seven years go by while he dreams of her. Very beautiful.

"And they laughed at Him."

And when Jesus came to the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the crowd making a commotion, he said, "Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping." And they laughed at him.

Matthew 9:23-24 English Standard Version

There are few things that get my goat more than when people laugh at me, especially when they think I or what I am doing is stupid. Their ridicule severely discourages me; it causes me to question everything about who I am and what I am doing, since I am a people-pleaser at heart.

But I take courage from this verse, and they laughed at him. Obviously Jesus was doing nothing stupid, but they couldn't see that. They had no trust in God's ability to take even the saddest of ocassions and turn them to good. Often I question God when a situation goes ill. Why, God, why? And my question is more an accusation than anything else. So I guess sometimes I am the laugher, too.

Maybe instead of letting others' laughter get to me, I should take care to follow God no matter how stupid His guidance seems, and then to take full confidence in that guidance. And if they laugh at me, to remember this verse and its comfort.

"Share" Is Not Just For Facebook

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

Paslam 1:9 New Living Translation

Internal praise and thankfulness is pretty easy--when I get through a situation by the skin of my teeth I automatically think a "Thank YOU, Jesus!!!" heavenward.

But I'm not nearly as good at external praise. It's not so much that I am reluctant it's that it doesn't even occur to me to tell someone, "Listen to this situation God just got me through!"

I'm going to make a more conscientious effort to do both from now on.

Blessings Ripple

So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow when he overthrew the cities in which Lot had lived.

Genesis 19:29 English Standard Version

The story of Lot's rescue from Sodom is a story of rescue by association. Lots had not particularly endeared himself to God, yet for Abram's sake God rescued him. And Lot's wife and daughters were even less close to God, yet for Abram's sake through Lot they also were rescued. And even the daughters' fiances were offered safety through Lot through Abram.

When you do good works and live uprightly and humble before God, you bring blessing not only upon yourself but upon your loved ones. It's like blessing ripples throughout your social circle.

Fifteen years and many worlds apart

And Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.

Genesis 16:15-16 English Standard Version

So since Abraham was about 100 when Isaac was born, Ishmael was almost 15 by then. I'd never realized that before. I wonder why God promised Abraham billions of descendants 15 years before making it a reality--on the surface it would have seemed kinder/less confusing to either tell him this when he was young and newly married so that he and Sarah didn't panic when she couldn't get pregnant, or to tell him say, a week before she conceived or something.

Of course, God has a million unseen reasons on why He does anything, but I am awfully curious on this seemingly arbitrary timing.

Appearances: An Accurate Cliche

And Lot lifted up his eyes and saw that the Jordan Valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, in the direction of Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself all the Jordan Valley, and Lot journeyed east.

Genesis 13:10-11b English Standard Version

When Abram's nephew was instructed to choose a piece of land to own, that's exactly what he did--he chose the best land. In his eagerness he forgot to factor in more important things, like the context of the land--his neighbors, for example. Yes, the land was amazingly lush, but his neighbors were sexed-obsessed creeps. He forgot to check into that before he settled down and raised a family.

I've never bought land, but I feel like I've had a case of Lot-itus in many areas of my life, including making friendships. A person upon first acquaintance is often much more polite, level-headed and likable than he ever is at any other point in his life, except perhaps at his work place. But once you get to know a person, those appearances can take a radical turn. This radical turn is not a bad thing--you want to get to know better every person with whom you are aspiring friendship. But a close friend is never distantly polite.

In my experience I tend to always take people at face value, assuming that they are as open and natural with me upon first acquaintance as if they are my closest friend already. And as I get to know them better, I resent how they "change" on me, when in fact they aren't changing at all--I'm merely getting to see them truer and truer to their real form.

Once I realized this, I wised up and quit resenting my new friends. Instead, now that I better understand the ritual of the transformation from polite acquaintance to close friend, I am now much happier.

An unusual lesson to learn from Lot, I suppose, but there you have it.

Even God's punishments can be beautiful

And the LORD said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech." So the LORD dispersed them from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city.

Genesis 11:6-8 English Standard Version

God punished man for his cockiness by striking at the essence of man's brilliance--cognitive thought. Our extreme skill at communication with each other is key to our dominion of this planet and of our future. So to disrupt that definitely gets our attention!

But even in this seeming blow to humankind, God is merciful--He gave us the ability to learn each others' languages so that this communication can be restored.

He also made all the languages and dialects beautiful. There are countless individuals who devote their life to studying language and speech and love what they do. It's a fascinating subject, and we will never run out of new things to discover in this area!

I wonder if we'll have different languages in heaven, too.

Noah's raven

At the end of forty days Noah opened the window of the ark that he had made and sent forth a raven. It went to and fro until the waters were dried up from the earth. Then he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters had subsided from the face of the ground.

Genesis 8:6-8 English Standard Version

I wonder why Noah sent out a raven first, and not the dove. Or if something the raven did made him change his mind and pick the dove. The poor dove now gets all the glory in this story. Maybe I should paint a painting of Noah with a raven and give that poor bird his due!